Monday, February 23, 2009

How was I so brave?

I went to visit Matthew at lunch today. He was crying when I showed up. Now, I am not one to be upset, because I showed up and he happened to be crying at that moment...but it did tug at my heart strings. I scooped him up, gave him his pacifier, and rocked him. Next thing I knew he was smiling and laughing.

Today, I am struggling with not seeing my baby. How was I so brave the first day that I dropped him off and went back to work? How was I so brave many nights before when I would go straight from work to school, not being able to see Matthew for 15 hour days? Maybe, it is because I am a little slow at work today and have more time to miss him. I have 7 more weeks of school and then my long days of being away from Matt will be over. 7 weeks seems so close, yet so far away. My baby is growing bigger and bigger each day, and it is hard not to think about all of the precious moments that I am missing. At least there is comfort in knowing that he is in good hands - Jeff takes such good care of him. I am very blessed to have such an amazing husband.


patty said...

He's such a snugglebear of course you would miss him. You wouldn't be normal if you didn't. He's such a smart little guy that he too experiences separation anxiety. Was he at Day Care yesterday?? I'm glad you were able to see him for a visit during lunch. You're a wonder woman to me for being able to maintain the schedule you are right now. It will pass soon and you will have many, many hours with Matthew to share 1-1. AND you have the majority of the day today and tomorrow to snuggle and love him up! Hang in there! We love you!

Angie said...

Oh, such a sad post. It makes me so scared for when Charlotte starts daycare in less than 2 weeks. Women sure need to be tough these days, huh? We have to keep telling ourselves that we work so that we can provide our children with the best future possible.

Jacqueline said...

Don't worry Ang, it is hard, but Charlotte will be in great hands. I do miss Matthew during the day, but it would be MUCH MUCH easier if I wasn't in school too.